A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.

Entry One:

My life isn’t exactly going to plan. I’m unemployed, extremely single, and not really sure what path is the right path to take.

I want to make the right decision, but I’m putting so much pressure on myself to do that, and its causing my anxiety to go through the roof. I’m scared that I will never be the person others expect me to be, or who I want myself to become.

It’s like this, I look at myself in a mirror and simply see failure. I try and speak but no one quite understands what I’m attempting to say. I’m stuck in a rut, and I’m not sure I want to get out, what if its not as great as I imagine? What if I fall back down the hole?

But then other days, I feel on top of the world, like I’m going to go so far in life, but I quickly crash back down. I compare myself to everyone around me, even though I know I shouldn’t.

One day, I’ll figure this bit out, and I’m not naive to think once I get one thing on track everything will be better, I know I need to take steps in every part of my life for it to make a difference. I just want to be able to take one step forward without instantly taking a step back.